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LIfe through the eyes of another Cinderella

In the news this week is a story of a Texas mother who was found guilty of causing the death of her 22 month old daughter by starvation. (http://www.athensreview.com/breakingnews/x1783669135/Texas-mom-guilty-in-daughters-malnutrition-death). Part of her defense was that she suffered from reactive attachment disorder and post traumatic stress disorder caused by traumatic experiences from her childhood. This is a fear that I have in raising our RAD daughter. I know that at this point, she would be unable to think outside of herself enough to care for a child but she is only 13. My fear is that she will never be able to lead a functioning adult life. Examples like this in the news reinforce this fear for me. I remember visits with their birth mom. She also suffered from traumatic childhood experiences and very likely has the same disorder. Her inability to function has caused significant problems for my child that will be with her forever. Will she cause the same problems for her children...
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Life as the "Evil Stepmother" controlled by a 65 LB terrorist referred to as Cinderella.

Have you ever wondered if Cinderella's Wicked Stepmother was really that bad or if she was just really misjudged. I do now!  As a child, I knew she was bad! She was scary and evil to the core. Poor Cinderella was so mistreated and unloved by the greedy, self centered, money hungry, abusive step mother. She was worked to the bone and left with only rags. She was kind and beautiful under her tattered and torn exterior. Who wouldn't want to have Cinderella as a child? Well, this is a scenario that I have found myself tied to. When we adopted our RAD daughter, we thought we would be the fairy Godparents who would sweep in and rescue her. We'd give her the beautiful gown and she would change her life forever. That didn't happen. I sewed her the gown. She wore it once and ripped it. I sewed her a new gown. She did it again. We played that game for almost two years before I learned that Cinderella liked her appearance. I stopped fighting that battle. Soon she started attending...
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When a child misses out on the experience of a loving consistent caregiver especially during the first 2 years of life, the consequences can be devastating . If a caregiver is detached, physically or psychologically absent, Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) may result. Without learning to trust others in early childhood, these children go on to lack healthy relationships later in life. Seven years ago, my husband and I learned the very real definition of RAD when we decided to adopted a set of siblings from the foster system. We had no idea the impact this would have on our very blessed and peaceful life. The window pictured above is a symbolic and actual view into the chaos we live with everyday caused by one of the siblings who has this disorder. This is a window that our daughter broke during one of her multiple daily rages. It resembles how broken and ugly she feels on the inside. RAD is incurable. It is a process that we face every hour of everyday. We face constant judgement ...
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